Reynolds Rap

Critical Theory-ism!

QUESTION:

Given the controversy academicians generated with "critical race theory," it's surely about time we consider other "critical" issues that require "glorious support" from social justice warriors, the progressive left, mainstream media, MSMBC, Disney, sanctuary cities, etc., etc., etc., right?

RESPONSE:

Absolutely!

THEORY-ISMS:

CRT = Critical Race Theory - To blame all White people for the atrocities, enslavement, genocide, oppression, discrimination, etc., of all people of color.

CFT = Critical Fat Theory - To blame all fat people, because 4 of 5 adults are morbidly weight or obese, and primarily responsible for the perpetually escalating cost of health care in the United States.

CST = Critical Sex Theory - To blame all men for the perpetual enslavement, oppression, discrimination, illiteracy, and rape of women.

CGT = Critical God Theory - To blame all religious people, especially Jews, Christians, and Muslims for 99.9% of all wars in human history.

CBT = Critical Black Theory - To blame all Black people for their collective failure to rise from slavery, genocide, oppression, discrimination, Jim Crow, mass incarceration, etc.

CPT = Critical Political Theory - To blame all politicians, especially Republicans (Conservatives) and Democrats (Liberals) for creating and sustaining a caste system of "haves versus the have-nots," and racism, sexism, inequality, authoritarianism, plutocracies, dictatorships, monarchies, and crony capitalism.

CMT = Critical Methane Theory - To blame all cows, pigs, and chickens for collectively generating the increase in methane gas that is destroying the Earth’s ozone layer and causing global warming.

CIT = Critical Immigration Theory - To blame all immigrants for bringing crime, poverty, homelessness, increasing the tax burden on lawful U.S. citizens, and destroying "what makes America great."

Well, golly gee whiz, there's probably a "theory-ism" for evey conceivable "issue." Clearly, anyone can create a theory-ism to justify . . . whatever, and the formula is so very simple. All you need are three words.

1. The first word must be "critical."

2. The second word or subject "ism" can be anything, just fill in the blank ____________.

2. The third word must be "theory."

And that's all you have to do to create a "critical theory-ism," such as:

Critical Banana Theory (CBT) - To blame erectile dsyfunction on the failure of men to consume enough bananas for potassism, which should not be confused with CZT, CWT, or CFT.

Critical Zinc Theory (CZT) - To blame erectile dsyfunction on the failure of men to consume enough avocados, oysters, crab, lobster, salmon, albacore tuna, and zinc, which should not be confused with CBT, CWT, or CFT.

Critical Wife Theory (CWT) - To blame erectile dsyfunction on the failure of wives to routinely engage in sexual intercourse with their husbands, which should not be confused with CBT, CZT, or CFT.

Critical Frigid Theory (CFT) - To blame erectile dsyfunction on the failure of wives to routinely engage in sexual intercourse due to being unable or unwilling to be aroused and responsive, which should not be confused with CWT, CBT, or CZT.

Critical Chauvinist Theory (CCT) - To blame all men for ultimately being the cause of all wars, atrocities, enslavement, genocide, oppression, discrimination, sexual abuse, rape, etc.

Clearly, anyone can create a theory-ism to justify . . . whatever, and the formula is so simple.

Fun, huh?

I welcome your feedback.

Trip Reynolds
trip.reynolds@yahoo.com

First Amendment to the United States Constitution - Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.