WHY IS IT ALWAYS BLONDES?
There were a total of 15 passengers boarding a small commuter plane on their way to New Orleans. Two very statuesque blondes with extremely long and shapely legs, voluptuous breasts with perky nipples and deep cleavage, and protruding pear-shaped "Rock of Gibraltar" asses were on their way to visit relatives. The other passengers consisted of a bunch of redneck twenty-something White boys from Richardson, Texas, an affluent suburb in metro Dallas, on their spring break vacation.
The plane took off and after flying for approximately 45 minutes an announcement came over the intercom from the pilot, "We have an emergency situation and can no longer maintain our altitude. We must lighten our load so the plane won't crash."
Within five minutes passengers began throwing luggage out of the de-pressurized plane. Five minutes after that, the pilot made a second announcement. "We are still experiencing major problems. We're sorry, but the plane is still in jeopardy and we must drop more weight to avoid crashing. To make it fair, I'll randomly pick three questions from an almanac and, appropriately, those who answer incorrectly, as the least intelligent, will be the first to jump.
"First question, where and when was Mother's day first celebrated?" All of the redneck twenty-something White males looked at each other dumbfounded and made no reply. The two very statuesque blondes with extremely long and shapely legs, voluptuous breasts with perky nipples and deep cleavage, and protruding pear-shaped "Rock of Gibraltar" asses continued to sit as they jointly and correctly responded, "Philadelphia in 1908!" A dead silence washed over the plane as the pilot came over the intercom system to ask the next question.
"Second question, in what city is the Elvehjem Museum of Art located? Again, all of the redneck twenty-something White males looked at each other dumbfounded, but finally five male voices shouted out with great uncertainty, "Russia?" "Poland?" "New York?" "Yugoslavia?" "Ukraine, no, it's in Israel?" The two very statuesque blondes with extremely long and shapely legs, voluptuous breasts with perky nipples and deep cleavage, and protruding pear-shaped "Rock of Gibraltar" asses continued to sit as they jointly and correctly responded, "Madison, Wisconsin!" The pilot came over the intercom system and directed the five redneck White males to put on their parachutes and jump.
"Final question, what famous comedian co-wrote a song about Frank Sinatra's first child, and what is that child's name?" As they put on their parachutes and prepared to jump, the remaining affluent redneck twenty-something White males were now staring even more intently at the two very statuesque blondes with extremely long and shapely legs, voluptuous breasts with perky nipples and deep cleavage, and protruding pear-shaped "Rock of Gibraltar" asses. The two very statuesque blondes with extremely long and shapely legs, voluptuous breasts with perky nipples and deep cleavage, and protruding pear-shaped "Rock of Gibraltar" asses continued to sit as they jointly and correctly responded, "Phil Silvers and Nancy!"
The two very statuesque blondes with extremely long and shapely legs, voluptuous breasts with perky nipples and deep cleavage, and protruding pear-shaped "Rock of Gibraltar" asses turned to each other and said, "Men, are so stupid. They're pathetic. Hell, all they had to do was open the almanacs in the seat pockets directly in front of them. But no, all they can ever see is our tits and asses!"
The pilot came over the intercom system and said, "Thank you, everyone, we'll be landing soon. This is Captain Katherine Parks signing-off."
© 2003 by Trip Reynolds
WHY IS IT ALWAYS THE DISABLED?
There were a total of 15 passengers boarding a small commuter plane on their way to Las Vegas. One Black male Vietnam veteran with no legs and an Asian woman with Down Syndrome were on their way to visit relatives. The other passengers consisted of wealthy White people from Richardson, Texas, an affluent suburb in metro Dallas, on their way to a convention.
The plane took off and after flying for approximately 45 minutes an announcement came over the intercom from the pilot, "We have an emergency situation and can no longer maintain our altitude. We must lighten our load so the plane won't crash."
Within five minutes passengers began throwing luggage out of the de-pressurized plane. Five minutes after that, the pilot made a second announcement. "We are still experiencing major problems. We're sorry, but the plane is still in jeopardy and we must drop more weight to avoid crashing. We're going to have to ask some passengers to put on their parachutes and jump out of the plane. To make it fair, those who've been the most fortunate, with the greatest incomes and success will go first.
"We'll start with incomes over $1,000,000. Will all the millionaires please jump now?" Several White people put on parachutes and jumped out of the plane while the Black male Vietnam veteran with no legs and the Asian woman with Down Syndrome continued to sit. A dead silence washed over the plane as the pilot came over the intercom system to ask the next question.
"Next is incomes over $500,000. Will everyone with a net worth greater than half-a-million dollars please jump now?" More White people put on parachutes and jumped out of the plane while the Black male Vietnam veteran with no legs and the Asian woman with Down Syndrome continued to sit. Again, a dead silence washed over the plane as the pilot came over the intercom system to ask the next question.
"Next is incomes over $25,000. Will everyone with a net worth greater than $25,000 please jump now?" As the remaining affluent White people put on their parachutes and prepared to jump, they stared intently at the Black male Vietnam veteran with no legs and the Asian woman with Down Syndrome. The Black male Vietnam veteran with no legs and the Asian woman with Down Syndrome continued to sit.
The Asian woman with Down Syndrome then looked up at the Black male Vietnam veteran with no legs and said, "Mister, don't we have any money? Aren't we worth anything?" The Black male Vietnam veteran with no legs then replied to the Asian woman with Down Syndrome, "Young lady, we're not anybody. We're not worth anything. We can't get work, and those people jumping out the plane have never and will never treat us like equals. As far as they're concerned, we might as well go down with this plane."
© 2003 by Trip Reynolds
WHY IS IT ALWAYS MINORITIES?
There were a total of 15 passengers boarding a small commuter plane on their way to Billings, Montana. Two very tall, long-haired Crow Indians were on their way to visit relatives at the Crow Indian Reservation southeast of Billings. Additionally, there was a cluster of half a dozen minorities including Blacks, Asians and other people of color. The remaining passengers consisted of the a bunch of redneck White boys from Richardson, Texas, an affluent suburb in metro Dallas, who were on vacation to go hunting and fishing.
The plane took off and after flying for approximately 45 minutes an announcement came over the intercom from the pilot, "We have an emergency situation and can no longer maintain our altitude. We must lighten our load so the plane won't crash."
Within five minutes passengers began throwing luggage out of the de-pressurized plane. Five minutes after that, the pilot made a second announcement. "We are still experiencing major problems. We're sorry, but the plane is still in jeopardy and we must drop more weight to avoid crashing. To make it fair, we'll go alphabetically.
"We'll start with 'A through C, and E through G.' All African Americans, Blacks, Asians, Chinks, Coons, and Colored people please jump now?" No one moved from their seat. The two very tall, long-haired Crow Indians continued to sit. A dead silence washed over the plane as the pilot came over the intercom system and continued the alphabetical roll call.
"Okay, let's go with 'I through J, and L through O'. All Japs, Japanese, Jews, Jewish people, Native Americans, Negroes and Niggras please jump now!" Again, no one moved from their seat. The two very tall, long-haired Crow Indians continued to sit. Again, a dead silence washed over the plane as the pilot came over the intercom system and continued the alphabetical roll call.
"Finally, let's go with 'Q through V, and finally X, Y and Z". Only dagos, honkeys, kikes, peckerwoods, White trash, and WAPS should be on this plane. The two very tall, long-haired Crow Indians continued to sit. As the plane continued its erratic descent southeast of Billings, a deafening silence washed over the plane as the pilot came over the intercom system and pleaded for passengers to put on their parachutes and jump. For some unknown reason, all passengers began staring at the two very tall, long-haired Crow Indians.
The two very tall, long-haired Crow Indians continued to sit, quietly, stoically. Then one very tall, long-haired Crow Indian knowingly said to the other, "Notice how the White man intentionally left out the letters 'D, H, K, P, and W?" The other very tall, long-haired Crow Indian knowingly said, "These stupid White people still don't get it. This is our country and always has been. They nearly killed us with their war and genocide and then put us on reservations; they made slaves of Black people and completely erased from them all knowledge of their African ancestry; they put Asians into servitude and imprisonment; and they wiped-out the native languages of our brothers, replaced it with Spanish, and then labeled them all as 'Hispanic' even though their only connection to Spain began and ends with its conquest of our lands, and the killing of millions and millions of us through their diseases and war. White people talk about treating everyone equally, but it is White people who still call us savages, make money by stealing our image for their sport, and they continue to imprison us; White people who crafted the word nigger and who brainwashed Black people to erroneously refer to themselves by it; White people who confined Asian Americans into concentration camps during World War II - just like Hitler, another White man, did to Jewish people, who ironically are also White but, unfortunately, not White enough. I hope this plane crashes on OUR LAND. It's a great place to die."
© 2003 by Trip Reynolds
WHY IS IT ALWAYS BLACK PEOPLE? It's not!There were a total of 15 passengers boarding a small plane on their way to Florida. One black mother and her child were on their way to visit relatives while the other passengers consisted of the KKK on their way to a convention.
The plane took off and after flying for approximately 12 minutes an announcement came over the intercom from the pilot saying: "We have overloaded this flight. We are going to have to start throwing luggage out the window so the plane won't go down."
Two minutes later you could see luggage being thrown out the window. Five minutes after that, the pilot made a second announcement. "We are still experiencing problems. We're sorry, but the plane is still overloaded and we're going to have to get rid of some of the weight so the plane won't go down." "We're going to have to ask some passengers to jump out of the window when we call you by your name. To make it fair, we'll go alphabetically.
We'll start with A. Will all the African Americans please jump now?" The black woman and her child continued to sit. The pilot came over the intercom system.
Next is B. Will all the Black people please jump now"? The Black woman and child continued to sit. The pilot came over the intercom system again.
Next is C. Will all the colored people please jump now? All the KKK was now staring at the mother and child. The black woman and child continued to sit.
The child then looked up at her mum and said: "Mum aren't we all of those?" The mother then replied to her daughter, "No, baby, because White people call us "niggers," and alphabetically "K" comes before "N."
Source: Unknown