A complete waste of your time and money.


Film Review © 2014 by Trip Reynolds

Action/Drama/Science Fiction/Comics Book Superhero

Directed by Marc Webb; Screenplay and/or story by Alex Kurtzman, Roberto Orci, Jeff Pinkner, and James Vanderbilt. "Spider-Man" created by Stan Lee and Steve Ditko.

Starring: Andrew Garfield (as a wimpering Spider-Man/Peter Parker), Emma Stone (as Spider-Man's girlfriend, Gwen Stacy), Jamie Foxx (as the stupid villian "Electro," a.k.a. Max Dillion); Dane DeHaan (as the latest and weakest incarnation of the villian "Green Goblin," a.k.a. Harry Osborn); Campbell Scott (as Peter Parker's father, scientist Richard Parker), and Sally Field (as Peter Parker's "Aunt May), and a robust supporting cast which really doesn't matter whatsoever.

In summary, instead of seeing this piece of crap, for $5.00 at Walmart, go buy "Spider-Man 2," released in 2004, starring Tobey Maguire (as Spider-Man), Kirsten Dunst (as Spider-Man's girlfriend, Mary Jane Watson), Alfred Molina (superbly as Doc Octopus), and Rosemary Harris (as Aunt May). The story is better, the screenplay is better, the special effects are better, and at only 128 minutes the pacing is faster and more upbeat than this latest film that moves at a snails pace at 141 minutes (two-hours and twenty-one unnecessary minutes). We should have known this film was a lemon because it took four people to write it. They should have hired Stan (Excelsior!) Lee to craft an original story, because Lee created Spider-Man and literally wrote thousands of stories involving our friendly neighborhood Spider-Man that remain phenomenally better than this piece of crap.

The story in a nutshell: Spider-Man has to defeat a villian, Electro, with electrical power, who uses electricity to wreak havoc. Frankly, it's stupid to re-boot this film franchise by re-telling the same old crap over and over and over again, especially when the Tobey Maguire versions are so recent in our minds, and equally important, the Tobey Maguire versions are better films, and are technically and artististically superior to the Andrew Garfield films. Plus, this lastest re-telling of the Spider-Man film franchise primarily offers countless aerial scenes of Spider-Man swinging through New York skycrapers and nothing else. Every scene re-telling the "Green Goblin" fiasco is a waste of time. Jamie Foxx plays the villainous "Electro" as a buffoon. As played by Emma Stone, Spider-Man's girlfriend Gwen Stacy, is clearly smarter than Peter Parker. Oh, and as if you didn't see it coming, film ends with a pretentious, over-the-top pseudo-climatic battle. Yawn.

Film features uneventful color-by-number direction by Marc Webb. Film has slow, boring running length of 141 minutes, and due to the lousy script, film should have been trimmed by at least 45 minutes.

Recommendation: Again, go buy "Spider-Man 2," released in 2004, starring Tobey Maguire (as Spider-Man). It's only $5.00 at Walmart!